28 Days – my gender challenge (Day 2: the story so far)

February 2, 2013 § 8 Comments


I’m a day and a half into the challenge I set myself to cross-dress every single day in February.

Already I’m feeling the benefits. Today for the first time ever I went out cross-dressed without shaving, just with a bit of foundation to hide the bit of growth that’s there since last night. I feel like what I’ve worn today (big boots, combat skirt, shiny leggings, hoodie, big massive bow in my hair, eyeliner, eyebrows strengthened) is way more gender-blurry than I ever normally dress. One of my hopes was to break down the binary, and that’s already happening. Brilliant.

I have decided to make some rules for the month. Number one: ‘cross dressing’ in this context will mean heels or a skirt as a minimum. Alas my shopping trip today for some wicked ankle boots with a little heel was unsuccessful (I’m vegan, so I don’t wear leather which makes it slightly harder) so it’s likely to be skirt-based for a bit. Number two: cross-dress at all times when out of the house (or hotel room). Indoors I’m usually in my pants anyway (ladies…). Number three: be positive. That’s it.

Yesterday, tellingly, I wasn’t sure I could be bothered to prepare myself just in order to pop downstairs to reception to ask for something. But I did it. I think the more I do this the less I will default to boy mode after the challenge is done. I’d really like to get rid of the gender of clothing in my mind. Break free of that conditioning.

It also helps that I can a lovely gig last night. I seriously can’t recomment the Glee Clubs enough. They’re in Cardiff, Oxford, Nottingham and Birmingham. You should go.

I’ll keep you posted about how it goes. I won’t post pictures every day, but I will post some. (My hit-rate on this blog goes through the roof when I regularly post pics. You saucy devils.)

In the meantime I’m happy to answer any questions you lot have. Fire away.



Compliments, part two

January 27, 2012 § 9 Comments

The other side to the issue of compliments is giving, of course. I realized today that when cross-dressed I am much less likely to give a woman I don’t know a compliment. I become hyper self-aware and worry that a comment about someone’s amazing heels might lose its value when given by a transvestite.
This is a big issue, and one I think worth consideration.
Comparisons with transvestites are often used as insults to women. When their performance of femininity is judged to be a bit over the top, they are compared to those for whom femininity is not innate.
Of course, gender-warriors* such as myself often really dig women who rock an unnatural look. False eyelashes and towering heels are the stock look for girls on the town at the moment, and I am convinced it’s a look that has come from the tranny scene, via gay stylists. “Girlfriend, you look fierce” is not a heteronormative phrase.
So when today on my travels I saw a beautiful pair of spikey knee-high boots, I held back from expressing my admiration on case she then wrote them off as the sort of thing a tranny would admire.
Which is a shame, I think.

Wipe the day off.

January 24, 2012 § Leave a comment

Taking my make-up off always feels like I’m announcing to my face that the party’s over. Time to sleep now. No more pretty for you until next time you shave. image

Consumerism part two…

November 13, 2011 § 13 Comments

Spending time around high street clothes shops is really not good for me. As I’ve said before my gendernonsense often manifests itself through an impulse to buy stuff. I am pretty much the easiest market for those flogging clothes. (And make-up for that matter.) A powerful combination of identity, fetish and the normal impulse to own things makes for a powerful urge.

This weekend I am in Sheffield, doing four gigs over four nights. My hotel is in the town centre and a combination of unfamiliarity with the city, not having friends who live here and a general Winter lethargy means that instead of visiting galleries and old buildings I have either been gigging, sitting in my hotel on the internet and traipsing round the shops. I restricted myself to make-up and this dress:

But I am now besotted with a load of other stuff. Mainly footwear. I want some knee high boots and some ankle boots and some sparkly court shoes…

and can I fit into a size 7? And if it doesn’t say leather on these amazing knee high spike heeled boots can I assume they’re vegan? And would a massive furry coat work on me? It’s fucking ridiculous.

Of course, I have plenty of shoes I don’t wear enough. Maybe I should just get you all to loudly and persistently encourage me to wear heels all the time!

Still, this dress IS great…

So anyway. Obviously I’m right in the middle of a very girly phase. Feeling very inspired at the moment. This is my friend Simone, who always makes me feel like I have a hell of a lot to learn about dressing fabulously. She’s a cabaret singer and has the most hypnotising lips in the universe:

So yeah… I think it’s going to be a week of dressing RIGHT up when I get back home. Heels to the shops? I think so…

Some more of my stand-up

September 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

I’ll be releasing one video every week, so keep coming back!

And here’s a sketch I made:

Okay then… what I’m wearing today.

September 14, 2011 § 8 Comments

I got that bag for my birthday today, together with matching nail polish!

This is what I’m wearing out today. I’ll do this more often if people like it.

New video and an article.

June 1, 2011 § 2 Comments

Here’s a telly thing I just did. I talk about cross-dressing a bit.


I also finished the article I was asked to write about ‘Why I Cross Dress’ for the Edinburgh Evening Mail. I think it came out pretty well. Here it is:

Right. Let’s get some stuff out the way. I’m not a drag act. I am a stand-up comic and a metalhead and am much more likely to sing Hammer Smashed Face by Cannibal Corpse than I Am What I Am (by whoever the hell wrote that).

I am not gay. Nothing against that sort of thing, I just don’t fancy men, which makes being gay really difficult. I’d be rubbish at it. I’d just let people down.

So why the cross-dressing? Well, it feels right, it’s a lot more fun than restricting myself to the boundaries of gender outlined by society, women dig it, homophobic men hate it, and I get to play with make-up.

There may well be complex psychological reasons behind my drive to dress in a feminine way. Upbringing, the influence of the girls I played with as a young child, an undue impact of the video for I Want To Break Free by Queen.

Whatever the underlying reasons, I’ve never been fond of rules, and the rules governing what’s appropriate clothing for my gender are my least favourite. For me it’s not a big deal. It only becomes one when other people make it a big deal.

Appropriately enough, in the Land Of The Kilt I actually get considerably less grief for wearing a skirt than I do in  strictly-betrousered England. My kilt is actually the least feminine item of clothing I own. And I’ve got three Slayer shirts.

I don’t try to pass for female, because I can’t. I have an adam’s apple that makes it look like I’m trying to swallow a crow. I cause confusion when asking for toilets (a flustered security guy in a bar once stammered “Er… Gents is that way, ladies is that way!”) but ultimately I think I manage to pull it off, look pretty hot on a good day and I get to enjoy shopping in a way that most straight men never will.

Brilliant. I got through all of that without mentioning Eddie Izzard once…

Oh bum.

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